There’s no fanfare as she enters the room, the royal horns having being disbanded and sent to teach music in the rural schoolhouses. Indeed, many vestiges of the grandeur of the Red Room have been stripped away as devout iconoclasts continue to measure, weigh and value the remaining statues. One gets the impression that ornaments or jewellery would would look out of place on her- she has more than enough gravitas in her posture, the confidence of her speech and her searching, inquisitive eyes. She is undeniably impressive, even more so when one considers her years. After interviewing emperors, actors and executioners, I am accustomed to feeling uncomfortable, with her it’s a different sensation- sitting across from this young gnome, I sense a barely contained and lethal power- as if standing on the bank of a mighty river during a storm.
CV: Ms. Phantagone, How should I address you now?
M: However you like, You can call me Mes, Lady Phantagone, Attorney General, Supreme Ruler, Goddess, God-killer. Whatever you like kid.
CV: Lady M?
M: It Doesn’t matter to me. Don’t worry kid, I’m not going to get angry over what you call me.
CV: Okay, well thank you so much for taking this interview.
M: Well I’m not the original Mes…
CV: Of course, I mean I appreciate any of you speaking to me, it’s rare.
M: She doesn’t like to advertise.
CV: I understand, but she must be aware that there are so many citizens who want to know about her? As a new queen, sorry, leader, so little is known about you, er, her.
M: We are aware of the reservations the citizens of Kossos have and I have been sent to answer questions. We are really committed to being a transparent and accountable leader.
CV: Ok, well it’s been just under a year since the slaughter, the battle of Hellhest and the Moonfall. Since then, we’ve had a change of government, a lot of rebuilding and new education programs but also a lot of tribunals and trials. How do you feel you’ve dealt with your new role as leader?
M: Look, I will say, first of all, I didn’t want the job. I asked Ernodal to do it, but he had his own thing going on. So I took the job reluctantly and yes, there were definite teething problems. I was on my own back then, before the simulacrums and clones and unseen servants. You have to remember, I hadn’t even finished wizard school. I hadn’t travelled much, I was carrying alot of anger around my father’s death. So I was overly-defensive, I admit that. There was a lot of opposition to my taking over. I suppose I could have been a bit more lenient, maybe a few banishments instead of defenestrations, but I find that if you leave a problem fester, it turns into a cancer. Sometimes the harshest punishments are best. But, you know, with our re-education programs in full swing now, we’re starting to see a major decrease in insurgent behaviour. The people of Kossos are getting on board with our message: ‘One for all, all for Vaul’.
CV: Do you think your administration has done enough to help the people transition from theocracy to em, social democracy?
M: There’s always more we can do. What happened in the slaughter was deeply traumatic for the people. Many died, many more lost their livelihoods and people are still suffering the effects. To ask them on top of that to accept a new way of organising society is a lot. But the fact of the matter is that the entire ruling class of Kossos was killed either in the slaughter, the battle of hellhest or the weeks after. The people wanted a new stability. With our water programs, back to work schemes and Flesh to Bread initiative, thousands of kossovians are beginning to feel the benefits of a society that treats all of its citizens equally.
CV: Let’s talk more about those first few weeks. I’m sure you’re aware that there are a small number of people who still believe that it was in fact Sub Optima who killed the Behemoth and started the chain reaction of deaths.
M: *Laughs* Look, you’re going to have conspiracy theorists with any situation like this. An independent inquiry found beyond any doubt that the beast was killed by the onion wizard, acting on behalf of…
CV: I know, but Sub Optima were there, in Kossos…
M: Don’t interrupt me when I’m speaking.
CV: I apologise Lady M.
M: I’m getting tired of explaining this. Sub Optima were in Kossos on a diplomatic mission, trying to finalise a deal to share our water supplies when the Behemoth was attacked. We attempted to save the beast but we were too late. The trauma of the slaughter left many kossovians disoriented and confused. We spent a lot of time over the past few months healing as many as we could, but there are still a small few who insist on an alternate reality. I feel sorry for them. We’re doing everything we can to reach out to them.
CV: What is your biggest regret?
M: I try not to have regrets. With dunamancy, there’s little need for them. If I had to pick one, I’d say it was giving Mario the benefit of the doubt so many times. He nearly destroyed us all.
CV: You’re known for being everywhere now, there’s a Mes in every neighbourhood. How many simulacrums have you made?
M: State secret. *laughs* Let’s just say, I’m number 38 and there’s plenty more after me. Cracking multiple simulacrums was one of our proudest achievements. It’s taxing on the mind but the timesaving and increase in production is outstanding. If I had to point to one thing that has aided the rebuilding effort more than anything else, it’s the multiplicity. And the determination of ordinary Kossovians of course.
CV: And the original? Mesmerelda Prime? Where is she?
M: You sound more like a spy than a journalist, Casey. She’s on leave, I believe on one of the islands off the coast. I think if anyone deserves a break, she does. I can’t say more than that without a risk to her security.
CV: Do you suspect a threat against her?
M: It just pays to be vigilant, don’t you agree? Kossos still has plenty of enemies, but rest assured, we’re tracking down and eliminating threats at a much improved rate.
CV: Well thank you for your time, can I finish up by asking what does the future hold for Mesmerelda Phantagone?
M: A really pertinent question. The future is an area of research we are very interested in. In fact, we are learning that how we perceive time may be slightly more complicated than we thought. There are many ways to get from A to B, speaking arcanely, if we can decipher the codes of the future, the possibilities are very exciting. We’re pursuing a number of lines of research. Hopefully we’ll be able to move assets out of counter-insurgency and Justice into research as the need for policing lessens.
CV: And any men on the horizon? Will there be a royal wedding any time soon?
M: Would you ask a male politician that question?
CV: I mean, eh, I just mean, it’s something our readers are interested in I’m sure.
M: I think that’s our time.
CV: Of Course, thank you for being so generous with your time.
M: It’s no problem. You spend six months in a pocket universe crossbreeding modify memory with mass suggestion and then you find out that one interview in the paper has the exact same effect.
CV: *laughs* There’s no such thing as bad press. Our readers will be heartened to know that our new leader is so capable and innovative.
M: Yes. They will.
As an aide whispers in her ear, her eyes narrow and she rises, nods briefly and strides out of the room. I am tempted to snoop around the Red Room, a room of such historic significance but I get the feeling that now it is just the same as any room in the city. As I walk down the palace steps, I feel only slightly more enlightened than I did before but at the same time, I do feel charmed. One for all, all for Vaul.
CASEY VARGOLIS- The Kossovian Tribune Sep 16 2251